


Sucking is not a Profession

by Katstories



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Drug Use, Gen, under age drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:03:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katstories/pseuds/Katstories
Summary: DrabbleA night when Splinter isn't around and the boys loosen up.Hey, you can do fun things with confiscated drugs if you want to.





	Sucking is not a Profession

**Author's Note:**

> An offhanded comment from Sampsonknight started this, I blame her.

"Quit giggling, you’re supposed to be a professional."

“Sucking is not a profession.”

“That’s not what I meant!” 

“Holy crap, would you two just stop and help me find the fuse box?”

“How long have we lived in this lair for you to have forgotten where the fuse box is?”

“Damn it Raph I’m freakin drunk, how am I supposed to find anything in this state?”

“Well it’s not my fault brainiac! You’re the one that had to have every toy turned on and plugged in so we blew the fuse.”

“Guys, we’re ninjas, we live in the shadows. This should be easy for us.”

“Leo in the pitch black of the sewers, there isn’t a shadow to be found right now.”

“AAAAHHH! Something touched me!”

“Calm down Mikey it’s just me.”

“Dude that didn’t feel like you, that felt all wriggly and stuff.”

“Mikey what did you mean “wriggly”?”

“Raph, pulling your sai is not going to help kill any roaches that might come out in the dark.”

“Roaches! There are ROACHES in the LAIR?!!”

“Sigh…Leo, dude, why did you have to go and harsh our buzz man.”

“Can it you nits! We need to find the fuse box!”

“I’ll help D. It’s in the kitchen right?”

“No! Mikey for Darwin’s sake, do not follow me.”

“Raph, seriously, put the sai down, there is nothing here and you’re just going to hurt someone. Probably me.”

“Huzzah! I made it to the kitchen!”

CRASH

“Ow. I made it to the kitchen.”

“Look out D, I think I left the oven lid down.”

“Thanks Mikey.”

“Great. Donnie made it to the kitchen. That still doesn’t deal with my…our roach problem!”

“Seriously Raph, you think Donnie would let roaches live in the lair, how often do we fumigate? Loads of times, so just chill out.”

“I’m at the fuse box!”

“Thank goodness, now get those lights on so we can kill the roaches!”

“Raph, there are no roaches.”

“And, why isn’t it working?”

“What do you mean it isn’t working?”

“Leo, I’m flipping the breakers, nothings happening that’s what I mean by not working.”

“Aw man, how are we supposed to get it on if we’re in the dark?”

“Mikey you’re always in the dark.”

”Not like this Leo, I can’t see anything in front of my face, how am I supposed to find your face?”

“Mikey that made no sense.”

”That’s because you didn’t have the brownies. You only had the saki, you don’t have a full buzz yet.”

Doot, dot, doot, dot, dot… 

“Holy Chalupa! It’s the T-Phone! It's my sweet chinchilla.”

“Ahem…Hi, April, fancy hearing from you. I mean, what’s up. Ah, yep, OK, yep…so, yea OK. OK, I’ll let them know. Thanks, you be safe too.” 

“So Donnie what did April say?”

“Apparently there is a blackout for several city blocks, including the grid we’re in. So we didn’t blow a fuse, we’re just part of the grid that’s down.”

“OH, we could go out and stop crimes! Criminal scum love to steal stuff while it’s dark out!”

“Leo. I’m drunk, your drunk, Mikey and Raph are both stoned. What are we going to do, go out and fall over everyone? You have that look on your face don’t you.”

“What look, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hey, I found Leo’s meditation candles! Look, light! And look Raph no roaches.”

“Oh hey little brother, that’s awesome! I was really starting to freak. I’d rather get back to that mellow we had going.”

“Sure thing dude, the brownies are right over here.”

“Leo, look bro, I know you want to go outside and kick butt, but it’s better that we say indoor, we’re simply not prepared for it. There are other problems too.”

“Oh, what other problems Donnie?”

“We live in the sewers and it’s only 1pm, the only people in the dark are us.”


End file.
